Matching friends: a good idea?

15679677086_4780d0ddb2_kWe’re young, we’re single and sometimes we get to know many new people in a short while. No wonder that every now and then we get to know somebody who seems to be the perfect match… for your friend. But is it a good idea to set up your friend who loves horses with that cute colleague of yours who happens to be single ànd a horse rider?

He’s good looking. You’ve known him long enough to know that he’s a sweet man who would treat her well. And they already share at least one big passion. Match made in heaven? Who knows! So yeah, it’s not a bad idea to introduce them, even though some might see it as meddling in someone’s love life.*

a26df654050c64501677b165da60f80e4c04bfb8092d6ff06e3a4492ae1d7d9fThe trick is to approach this the right way. “Hé Mary, I set you up for a blind date next week. You don’t know him yet, but he’s a great guy. I’m sure you’ll be a great couple.” That is definately the best way to scare your friend.

 

A couple of tips to handle this the right way:

  1. Is your friend open to getting to know new people? Does (s)he want to be set up? You might want to check with him/her before taking action.
  2. Send a picture of the other person. This way they can see at once who he/she is and wether they find him/her attractive. And having seen eachothers faces will surely make it easier to meet up.
  3. Don’t force him/her to meet up, even if it’s just ‘a little push in the right direction’. They have to do this entirely out of their own free will.
  4. Tell them why you thing they would be perfect for eachother. Be honest and complete in your description of ‘the perfect partner’. If you describe a Disney prince, she will probably be disappointed afterwards.
  5. Manage your expectations. Who knows, maybe they’re just no chemistry between them, even if you’re convinced that they would be such a great couple.
  6. Ask how they would prefer to meet up, because blind dates certainly aren’t the only option. You could go on a double date, throw a party or arrange to have them meet up almost by accident. If they opt for a date with just the two of them, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a blind one. You could meet up with the three of you so you can introduce them to eachother, and leave after a couple of drinks if they’re hitting it off. Or they could add eachother on Facebook and get to know eachother a bit better online before meeting up.
  7. Did you agree to set up the date? Choose a nice and quiet location where they can get to know eachother in a comfortable fashion. Movie theatres and your local McDonalds are a no-go. A bar might be better than a restaurant – if it doesn’t go very well, they can part ways after a couple of drinks.
  8. Did the date go well?  That’s your cue to stay out and leave them to it. Whatever you do, don’t try to force them to meet up again. Your friends are old and wise enough to know what they are doing, right?
  9. The date didn’t go so well? Don’t take it personally and don’t blame anyone. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.

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*Oké, maybe it’s not ALWAYS a good idea to be a matchmaker. You might want to leave things as they are in these cases:

  • When you feel sorry for a friend “who also deserves to be with a good guy who treats her right”.
  • When you have an alterior motive. For instance never set up a friend with a nice guy who happens to have feelings for you instead.
  • If you don’t know the people you’re setting up very well. You have to be sure that they might be a good match and that they might make eachother happy.
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