How to answer awkward questions at family parties

Single vrouw die zich amuseert met een kerstmuts op haar hoofd‘So you’re still looking for a boyfriend?’ or ‘I can’t believe you’re still single…’ are amongst the many tortures single people have to cope with every holiday season. But in a few minutes, you’ll e looking forward to having dinner with the family. You see, we’ve been looking for brilliant comebacks that will finally shut your aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews up.

Christmas and New Year parties… we love ’em, but every year we have to prepare ourselves mentally before joining our dearest family members to celebrate. You know they mean it well, but still, chances are you’ll be confronted with your single status. Just the thought of seeing that big smile on your aunt’s face when she asks you about your single life, sends shivers down your spine. However, this year you’ll be smiling as you perfectly answer her many annoying questions. Make sure to remember these answers:

Question: “Are you in a relationship?”

Possible answers:
“Oh yes, with several people. I’ve got relationships going on with several friends, with my landlord, neighbours and colleagues. They make me very happy.”

“No, I think my future inlaws decided not to have children after all.”

“No, I’m not, but there are plenty of men to meet with whenever I feel like it. I enjoy it very much.”

“No, but I like it that way. If I had, maybe I’d be dining with my inlaws right now.”

My family waiting for me to get married

Remark: “Can’t believe you’re still single. You look so good.”

Possible answer:
“Well, recently I read that goodlooking women are often single. Apparently, men are afraid to approach hot women. And when they do, they tend to think that she’ll probably already have a boyfriend. I think that’s my problem.”

men are too nervous to talk to me

Question: “Why are you still single?”

Possible answers:
“Actually, I like single life. Instead of hooking up and breaking up over and over again, I prefer stability. Instead of going on dates, I can invest that time in hobbies and things I really like. And if I meet someone special, I can still choose to start a relationship with him.”

“If I had a boyfriend, I probably wouldn’t have time to meet up with my friends. And instead of spending my money on boyfriends, I’d rather save it for myself or spend it on my own hobbies. I wouldn’t want to give them up, just because he wants to have a warm meal after a long day.”

single joke

Question: “Don’t you meet nice men?”

Possible answers:
“Oh, I meet plenty of men. But there’s nobody I’d want to adapt my current lifestyle for.”

“The men I meet eventually don’t want to date me because they think I’m too smart. Scientifically proven.”

“Yeah I do, but I prefer to be single next time Liam Hemsworth comes to town.”

Daten rond Kerstmis

Remark: “Oh I feel so sorry for you, having to spend the holidays all on your own at home.”

Possible answers:
“Save it for someone else. I had a great time Christmas shopping and I decorated my entire appartment with these beautiful lights and candles. I become instantly happy every time I get to light them.”

“Now that I don’t have a boyfriend, I finally bought myself one of those lovely wrong Christmas sweaters. I wear it all the time when I’m at home, and there’s nobody to criticize it. Lovely.”

“Oh but I’m not alone at all. I’m having cozy movie nights with friends, and in the weekends we spend some time at the Christmas market. We don’t really plan it, but still we can have fun together for hours and hours. You should try it sometime.”

All I want for Christmas is Ryan Gosling sweater

Remark: “No sweetheart to share the holidays with… that sounds horrible to me.”

Possible answers:
“It depends on how you look at it. I actually feel relieved, because I really don’t feel like going to twice as much parties and having to find presents for people I don’t know very well. No, thanks.”

“Actually, the holiday season can be great for single people as well. I get to meet lots of new people at all kinds of parties and I get to talk to or kiss with the ones I like, without any restrictions. What’s not to like?”

How I Met Your Mother

Question: “So what are your plans for the holidays?”

Answer: “I just traveled to [destination X] with some of my friends, and I’ll be celebrating New Year’s Eve in [club or destination Y]. I love hanging out with friends.”

Bet your married niece suddenly wants to chance the subject or starts talking to somebody else. Another vulture eliminated, pfieuw.

Happy New Year

Indeed, every single year your family confronts you with the fact that you’re ‘still’ single, but that doesn’t mean that single life sucks. Because one day, when you finally get to say that you’re in a relationship, they’ll start asking annoying questions about that too. After a while, they’ll start wondering why you’re ‘still’ not engaged. And the same thing will happen after you’ve announced that you’re engaged, married, pregnant or even when you’re married and don’t get pregnant. Good luck with that!

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