He asks you out. You feel flattered and exchange numbers. He seems so nice and a girl’s got to give someone a chance, right? Right. But that should come with a dating checklist. If you notice the things mentioned below, you better let him know it’s not going to happen.
1. He wants you to get in his car (even if you don’t want to)
If you don’t know him and he offers to pick you up and drop you off, you better decline. Make sure you find a way to get home safely by yourself. If he asks you to get in his car and you decline, he should respect your decision. If he tries to push you, it’s a sign you shouldn’t give him a chance.
2. He sends you 20 text messages a day
There’s nothing wrong with enthusiasm, but if you let him know on the first date that you’re not a big fan of text messages, he should show at least a little respect for that. Sending a text and sending another one half an hour later to ask why you didn’t answer, is not done.
3. He buys you a romantic present on the first date
First dates are about getting to know eachother before you consider to spice things up a bit. We all want to find somebody who likes us for who we are, not someone who wants to buy our love. If he buys you a (seeminly) expensive present like a necklace with a heart shaped pendant, he might be giving you this because he wants you to feel guilty so you’ll want to do something in return.
4. He tells you what you should like and support
Don’t let him push you to change your opinion on something. Instead, stand for what you believe in (and let him stand alone).
5. He talks bad about something that is important to you
You tell him that your one and only passion is dancing. If he starts to talk about how dancers are superficial and dancing is a stupid hobby, he’s probably not considering your feelings. Ofcourse he’s allowed to have his opinion, but if he cares about you he won’t risk hurting and losing you over it. He’ll automatically keep his opinion to himself.
6. He is drunk on your first date
If a guy is really interested in you, he’ll value your first date together. First dates are important. If he’s drunk on the first date, that means he feels that drinking (a lot) is more important than you are. He’ll probably end up marrying a bottle of Whiskey one day.
7. He texts you every time of the day
If he thinks you’re important, he won’t be texting you all the time when you’re at work and he’ll know not to text you in the middle of the night or at 6 AM. He should have respect for your personal life. (Unless it’s an emergency, ofcourse.)
And if you tell him upfront that you’re not a big fan of texting or Facebook, he won’t force you to use it by messagebombing you.
And after date nr X: he asks you to be his girlfriend in front of friends
No man should ever do that. But unfortunately it happens. He should choose a private moment between the two of you to ask you to be his girlfriend. If he does it in front of his or your friends, he’s practically forcing you to say ‘yes’ – because he knows how hard it is to turn him down in front of everyone.
One or more things in the list above match the man you’re seeing, but still you’re not sure. Well then ask yourself this:
- Do I want to keep seeing someone who doesn’t respect my boundaries?
- Should I be with someone who shows more respect for himself than he does for me?
- Don’t I deserve a man who treats me better?
The answers to these questions should be ‘no’, ‘no’ and ‘yes’ – no matter how painful it can be to turn him down. Know that you’re doing the right thing.